'Say it Again Like You're Undaunted!':

Sometimes, in graduate school and in life, you need some outside inspiration and motivation that it is often difficult to obtain from the inside. The manifestations of this are unique and occur through many guises and in many instances. Sometimes it comes in the form of a sermon at chapel, or a startling idea that emerges in the middle of a deep sleep. Other times, it's the kind word from a superior or a unexpected letter from family or friends. It can even be a song or the way the light reflects off the top of an ivory tower. At those moments the presence of something bigger reveals itself and it becomes easier to plow through the difficult bits of life; the routine, the setbacks, the boredom. These inspirational gifts are invaluable and I admit I search for them often. But sometimes, well sometimes, they just come to me. And I've begun to see that occasionally they come through the same channels. The channel that came to me today was opened long ago through the connection I share with my cousin Erika.

She probably doesn't realize it, but her life is a constant inspiration to me. Our exchange of ideas and ideals, our love for each other and for understanding, our constant search for contentment in the present and yet just a little bit more in the future makes us more than just cousins, but also kindred spirits. And last year, my wonderful guide, cousin, and friend, brought me to the inspiration that is the work and words of Elizabeth Gilbert. Her book, 'Eat, Pray, Love' speaks for itself, and I won't discuss it here. And yet, the message of the book, and Gilbert's message as a human continues on with me each day. Every once and a while I lose it. Every once and a while I feel down and struggle and feel disheartened. And that's ok. Because I always know it won't last forever. I never know how I'll snap out of it, but I know I will.

This morning, after a stressful meeting, while checking the news just to clear my mind of my own life, one of these gifts came. It came through that channel opened by my cousin; through Elizabeth Gilbert. It was a simple video on CNN about the presence of 'genius' in us all (see below). And her words described just what it was that I experience day to day in the struggle to produce something great. This universal understanding made me feel apart of something bigger than me, something more. And I must say that that, my loves, is the most comforting of feelings. It reminds me that I am more than just a 'poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage'. It signifies something. What, I may not ever know, but to play my part I can only show up and do my job; do my best. It's nice to know that ultimately it is good enough. There is no reason to be daunted.

In the words of Whitman:

O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish; Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?) Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d; Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me; Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined; The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

I cannot wait to see what that verse will be.

Love,
Elizabeth