I Believe:

Flyleaf, "All Around Me":



I am determined to have a good day, with motivation to spare. :)

Love to the most wonderful people in my most blessed life,
Elizabeth

For Jazzy, Red Roses:

I don't know what I want to say, but I want to say something. It's on the tip of my tongue, at the edge of my fingers. It's strong and encompassing; filling me up with immediacy and importance, but I don't know what it is. My brain takes my thoughts and spins them around at a feverish pace. This and then that and then this and then something else and I never have hold of a thought or a hope or an idea for long enough to write it down. Spinning. It all just keeps spinning.

And when it stops. Nothing. I can't remember what it is that I wanted to say. My brain is stuck in a lull, a soft sway. Words meandering along, unable to find a home. Unattached to a thought. Here, there, everywhere. Like a butterfly, hopping from flower to flower. But the pollination doesn't set in. It's exhausting. Can anybody hear me?

And then I daydream. Of peace. And contentment. And a world in which my voice is heard. Where people listen and respect. Because I have something to say! And I said it. No, I shouted it! Loud and triumphant. Bold and proud. My words have meaning and I shouted them out loud. I sound powerful, thunderous; the world shakes at my voice. Calling for kindness, civility, a smile, understanding. Joy. Yes, that's what I want to say: Personify joy.

And afterwards? Humanity. What's left of it all? Oneness. Connection. Empathy. Every fiber of being united in joy. Oh and love. Eternal, unending, all encompassing love. You inspired me. You inspire me. Held in my heart, forever, joy and love.

I have something to say: For Red Roses, I never knew you, but your impact is strong. For Jazzy, I still miss you, 14 months on. But your light? It is here and it comforts me. Personified joy. That's it. That's what I'm searching for. And my words, they can't do justice to the thoughts in my head. Because this is not a daydream and I'm still spinning. But love is tangible and joy is real. So when I find my voice like you two, I'll shout it, just as you did.

In memoriam.

Love to all,
Love, love, love,
Elizabeth

Sleepy Dwarf:

I'm not sleeping well. I keep falling asleep at like 9 at night and then waking up at 12. Then I can't sleep again until 2 or 3. This needs to stop. I need a proper night's sleep.

In other news, there's a big back log on my visa application so I'm attempting to push it through with an "urgent travel" need. Fingers crossed. I don't like the feeling of not having a passport. And I cannot understand how it is taking so long. They've had it for 8 weeks. The British consulate in the US takes 6 weeks at most. Where's the disconnect?!

As you can see, sleepiness makes me grumpy. I'm feeling rather a lot like a different one of the "Seven Dwarfs" these days. Can't wait to come back round to "Happy" again. Hey, and maybe one day I'll finally be "Doc". :)

Love to all,
Sleepy Elizabeth

The Reason for Living in the Library:

Yes, staying at home has certain risks. Couches are evil. But it's ok because in the library the chairs are not comfortable at all. Not one bit. And the height of the desks force you to develop a hump as you stretch your arms to reach the keys of your laptop.

And you know, there's nothing better than coming out of the library after a good days work and sitting your sore bum on a couch. Well, except taking a walk.

Yesterday was a good day. Now on to make sure today is too.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

*Yawn*:

The students are back. The sun is out. Everyone is in the library. The glories of spring/summer in Oxford. Me? I'm tired. Or just yawn-y (I know, it's not a word, but I'm reading Middle English again today and I swear I've seen it somewhere...Maybe I'll check the OED? Better yet, the MED.).

This volcanic ash is ridiculous. It means friends/students are stranded. I'm finding it difficult to feel sorry for the ones who write me saying "I'm stuck in Tenerife!" "I'm trapped in Australia!" Oh dear. Poor you. I'm in the library. But I suppose this isn't costing me any hotel fees.

*Yawn!* Ok...back to work. Only 2.5 hours til lunch. :p

LOVE to ALL,
Elizabeth

Campaigning for Cookies in the Library:

I've been in the library A LOT lately and I can assure you, this video is factual. The fact that it is factual is a total shame. There should most definitely be cookies in the library. Life would be better. I would be fatter, but life would be better. Think of the increased productivity researchers would have with the constant sugar rush?! And the calming influence of a glass of milk?! Seriously, I think I'm on to something here. It's time to start my campaign. I really need cookies in the library. I feel Cookie Monster's frustration here. Solidarity brother.



In other news, I have an ARGUMENT for my THESIS! Huzzah!! Now I just have to find the evidence so I can argue it effectively. Crap. Oh well...onward! As Robert Frost once wisely said, "The only way out is through." So move over PhD program(me), I'm coming through.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

P.S. Send me cookies.