It's Basketball Season:

Praise the Lord, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

GO CARDS!!!!

Love,
Elizabeth

(And yes, I know this pic is from 2009, I don't care...I love it.)

The View from my Window:

Is definitely worth sharing.


Love to all,
Elizabeth

Bigger Things:

I had to share this powerful short video about the benefits of ARV drugs on AIDS patients. Sometimes it's easy to forget how very, very blessed and lucky I am, and how blessed and lucky are my friends and family, when the day to day stresses and struggles are upon us. I feel humbled, ashamed, and inspired by this video. Choose to do with it what you wish. I will keep it in my heart and spread the message of what NGO's can do and why we have to look after those less fortunate than ourselves. I am blessed, I am loved. I look forward to one day using my gifts to help others.



Love always and God Bless,
Elizabeth

Creme Pies:

I made the Pumpkin Creme Pies that I wrote about when I was sick. They are amazing. I forgot to take pictures so I'll just have to make them again. ;p

I also made a Jack-O-Lantern. See:


I feel a bit sick from all the sugar I've consumed over the last few days. Yeesh.

All in all, though, it was a Happy Halloween. :)

I hope yours was too.

Love,
Elizabeth

Sad and True:

Also, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11646976 on Oxford's protest of tuition raises in the UK. I wish I had the time to share how interesting this debate has been for a US student to witness. All I will say is while I admire these protests, I wish they would've chosen a better time as their concentric march around the Rad Cam was horribly disrupting for those of us who have to work.

Enjoy the sad and depressing video above. :)

Love,
Elizabeth

It's Still Relevant:

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Love,
Elizabeth

P.S. If I've posted the whole text before I don't apologize. It's still awesome no matter how many times you read it. :) You are most welcome.

Balancing Act:

I'm a busy gal. If I never respond to your emails or you can't get a hold of me on the phone, this is why. Here's a list of the things I have to do throughout any given week of term.

1. Thesis: Research, Writing, Editing, etc. It takes up a lot of time.
2. Deaning: College meetings, Dean's hours, shutting down bops, etc. EMAIL. There is SO MUCH EMAIL. It takes up less time than my thesis these days, but that's because I now stay out of my room and hide in the library.
3. Seminars: I go to some (Medieval History Seminar, Medieval English Research Seminar...) and I co-convene one, the best one...Medieval Church and Culture (MCC for short). It's on Tuesday nights at 5:15. We talk about the medieval church and culture. :)
4. Chapel: I'm a bible clerk in the College chapel. Did I never tell you this? I've been doing it for a year. On Sundays and Thursdays I help make sure the services run smoothly and once a week I read the College Prayer at dinner. I light candles, read the lessons, ring the bell, hand out hymnals, and sometimes I'm the thurifer (that's right, incense baby!). I don't give this up because it's good for my soul. I love Sundays and Thursdays.
5. Tutoring: I attend (almost) weekly teaching training seminars and sit in on weekly British III tutorials (1330-1550). I read the students' essays and do the background reading so I don't look entirely stupid and in training I read pedagogy on university teaching. Just so you know deep learning is what we want people, not surface learning. Oh and I get to write a teaching portfolio at the end of this term, woo! (Sarcastic woo, but it is important and I'll be glad to accomplish it.)
6. Latin: I try and practice my Latin several days a week, but now I'm actually translating some for money. I do not know why I agreed to do this. I am crazy. (I do not have time for French and German, which I still need to improve on and learn respectively.)

I also try and see my friends, go to the gym, cook dinners for myself, and watch the occasional tv show (ok I lie, I watch it more than I should!). Basically, it's the beginning of week 3 of 8 and I'm already tired. BUT, and this is crucial, I'm managing. I really am. I'm no longer striving for perfection, I'm just striving for balance. I wrote the first part of my first chapter of my thesis last week and now I'm working on the beginning of another chapter. And you know what? I don't care how good it is, I'm just super, super excited to get it all out of my brain and onto paper. It feels so wonderful to accomplish something. I'll make it good later. For now, it's just so amazing to feel happily busy and productive. I like this feeling. :) And now, back to it. I've got a lot to do.

Love and balance to all,
Elizabeth

Laborare est orare:

Some learned phrases that sum-up my life right now (and appropriately come from the Bible and the Middle Ages)...

Proverbs 23: 12 -
'Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.'

Alijt Bake, 1451 -
'Whatever I learned I wrote down so I would not forget it, and thus in speaking and pondering and learning and writing and erasing and again rewriting I spent all my time.'

'They could not put me at peace, because I was already seeking a higher and fathomless good which they neither knew nor tasted.'

Love, peace, and prayer to all,
Elizabeth

Smeals:

My best friend is awesome. She can make me laugh no matter how hard I'm crying. She lives life with passion, fun, and honesty. She loves her family and her friends. She's the coolest. Also, she loves her job. In fact, she loves her job so much that she never does it badly. She gets up at 4:30 in the morning and goes to work to make sure that people have a good start to the day through her friendly smile, her good service, and a yummy breakfast. She's awesome. The people of Louisville have recognized this, and Emelia has been nominated for a Recognition of Service Excellence (ROSE) award this year! Voting ends October 29th. If you'd like to vote for my Smeals, please visit http://www.louisvillevolunteer.com/dev/default.cfm?eventID=35 and vote. All you have to do is click on 'Voting', then on 'Restaurants' and then enter your email address next to Emelia's name. When you press enter, you've voted. Emelia is some people's first introduction to the type of people we have in Louisville. She's a fantastic representative of our great city and I'm so proud to call her my best friend.



Love to all,
Elizabeth

Kentucky:

Love to all,
Elizabeth

Hot Toddy:

I'm still sick. The doctor won't give me meds, saying they're probably bad for me. Not sure if I trust him. As a result, I'm taking the holistic approach and drinking hot toddies (sp??). One of my students brought me one yesterday (bless) and gave me the recipe. Apparently all British mums make this when their kids are sick. I have to say, it did help for the afternoon. Not a cure all, but hey, nice to feel good for a few hours.

Hot Toddy:
Juice of one lemon
2 Tbsp Whiskey (or Bourbon, or Rum)
Rest of Mug full of Hot/Boiling water
Sugar or Honey to taste.

Have one. It's warming. :)

Love to all,
Elizabeth (cough cough cough)

On My Mind:

Love always,
Elizabeth

Random Thoughts This Gal Has While Ill:

ILL in all caps in the above font looks like a Roman numeral III.

I want to make these:

Don't they look delicious? Mmm...Pumpkin Creme Pies. Can someone mail me canned pumpkin?

My nephew is 5. He's been 5 for a while. I was looking at his birthday pictures again today and it hit me that HE. IS. 5. Good grief. Oh, and he's handsome too. See:


My thesis uses a niche topic (parenthood) to explain a larger phenomenon of intercommunication between the laity and the Church in late-medieval England. This is pretty cool.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

I am far too much of a social person. I HATE lying in bed all day alone.

Being sick when I was little was ok because I got to stay home with Mom or Dad all day. I don't get to do this now. This sucks. Mom and Dad, I know that parentally it would've been irresponsible to leave me home alone when sick when I was little, but I kinda wish you had. Then I would've been conditioned to being alone. Now I just miss you guys. Of course, I always miss you guys.

Oxford students are far more literal and combative than others. Cleverness is often annoying.

56-0. I didn't mention that earlier. I love my Cards. I hate Memphis. 56-0 for homecoming is awesome.

I have lots of awesome friends in Oxford. It's the best part of this place. Somebody told me before I left home that it would be hard to make friends here. That this place is stuffy and full of itself. That is true. But the bit about the friends isn't. I couldn't imagine going through the struggle of a PhD or being away from home (and the people there) without them. Here's a few group photos of some of my wonderful friends:


Kunal, James, Jenna, Gerhard, Phil, Emma, Sam, Me, Senthuran



Jen, Melissa, Hannah, Me, Oksan, Krista



Anna, Tomoe, Aoife, Me, Yuki

It's because of them and for those I love most at home (y'all know who you are) that I persevere and refuse to give up. Thank you all for the love and support. When I'm ill these last thoughts are the most frequent and most healing of all.

Love and thanks to all,
Elizabeth

Freshers' Flu = Gold Star Thief:

Crap. I got the Freshers' Flu. I was doing so well. Managing work and social things. Writing like a...(what's the end to that sentence? I mean really? Because I'm not an author in a strict sense and no one wants me to write the word writer because I've just said 'Writing'. I'm gonna go with...) essayist. Or efficient grad student. Hmm...yes, I like that better. Anyhoo. Today? Well today I've slept for all but six hours because I have no energy. It's gone. And I can't see. My eyes are swollen with some sort of allergic annoyance that makes them drip, but I'm not crying. I think my students thought I was crying. I feel a lot like Garfield. Sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, wake up, eat, and sleep. That's my day. I REALLY hope that in doing this today I'm better by tomorrow. There is absolutely no room for this at all, let alone more than one day of it. I have a big piece of work due Friday (and the next Friday, and the next, and so on), which I want to and will complete on time. And quite frankly, I want a gold star. It really sucks not getting one today.

Off to eat now and then sleep.
Love to all,
Elizabeth

This Is Why My Schedule Includes Internet Time:

The Internet is a dangerous thing. It must be controlled.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

Gold Star:

Just to let you know that I've had an awesomely productive day so far today. I've even managed to maintain the separation from Dean-stuff and Thesis-stuff. I got up at 6:45 and went straight to the gym. Got in a good workout, came home, cleaned up, ate and got to the library by 9:30. I worked straight on til lunch and ended up writing 1700 words! They aren't perfect words. Not all are usable. They could be better organized. But they are out of my brain and onto the page. I'm struggling a bit now simply because I'm tired, but I am determined to keep going. I have not felt this proud of myself in a very long time. I'm at 2245 words for the day. :) Only 97,755 to go. Woo!

Love to all,
Elizabeth

I Can Has Organization:

I'm in the process of hyper-organizing my life (and DPhil) so that I cannot fail. Essentially, I'm dictating what I do each day by planning a week or two in advance. My days are divided into hour-long increments in which activities such as "Shower", "Gym" and "Lunch" are fitted in. I have a GIANT white board with my thesis plan on one side and tasks still do to on another. I have a room, in which only thesis-related things happen. There is no Internet in there. Also, there is no heat (but that's not technically relevant). I've reduced my Dean's hours, put up message boards, and asked my friends and colleagues here to tell me if I start doing too much work for the job (as is my natural state, apparently). Why am I doing all of this really? Well, I want to finish this PhD. I want to argue something interesting and intelligent; something uniquely my own. And then I want to defend it, make the corrections, and come home. I am tired of school. I am tired. Also, I want to teach school. I do not want to be in school. I think it is good that I know this. I'm realistic about who I am. I'm finally starting to see what I want. And what I want is to enjoy this city and this University as a student who is not so overburdened with job stress and responsibility that she cannot work on her thesis. So I've made lists. And charts. And I have gold stars. Yes, actual gold stars. And guess what? I'm kind of excited about it all. I'm totally going to write a kick ass thesis (pardon my language...it's needed for the effect). So yeah. That's me. Just being horribly honest. It's my new thing. Oh, and organization. But I've got to go because my time is up here. It's email admin time now. :)

Love to all,
Elizabeth

And the Adventure for Tomorrow is:

Tomorrow I'm going here:


To look at some of these:


And then, after all the hard work, I'm meeting my best buddy Ruth to see this:


It's sure to be a good day. :)

Love to all,
Elizabeth

Self-Portraits and a Song:

I've been getting increasingly interested in photography lately (rather belatedly compared to my friends and family I guess). My beloved 2005 Nikon Coolpix isn't the greatest anymore as technology advances so rapidly, but I like it. And I've been investigating more of what it can do. I'm sharing just a few unedited self-portraits (I can't even begin to grasp all the possibilities with editing!). I'll put up some pics from my 10 mile walk through the Chilterns later this week. Also, please enjoy this song, which is interestingly on a Nikon advert here in the UK. I just love it in its entirety.

Flowers:


Black and White:


Blue:




Peace and love to all,
Elizabeth

"Louisville: Weird, in a Good Way.":

Hello all. I'm still in Cambridge (still making tallies!) after a long and lovely weekend with great friends, food, and fun. It's been so nice to get away. Speaking of getting away...have you ever considered Kentucky as your destination of choice? Well, you should. And now it's not just me saying it. Tim Bryan, 'The Guardian' travel writer has written an article on the Bluegrass State. Uncle Steve alerted me to this article and I must say thank you! It's heartwarming and accurate and, I think, captures the nature of Kentucky very well. This is particularly wonderful to read as, obviously, this writer is not from Kentucky and most likely a Brit. His experiences made me simultaneously homesick and proud, right on down to the description of roadkill and the smell of skunks. It ain't pretty, but it's correct! So well done Guardian. And thank you. Thank you for drawing attention to the wonder that is Kentucky. It ought to be appreciated more. But not too much more...I wouldn't want all the tourists to change it.

You can find the article here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2010/jul/03/kentucky-louisville-road-trip-us?page=all

Love to all,
Elizabeth the Homesick

The Other Place:

I'm in Cambridge. In the University Library. Drinking some tea. I keep hearing people talk about how this place is better. About how they "beat" Oxford. Hmm. Well, this may be true in terms of international rankings (though I've never trusted such surveys). And it's certainly true of the current and overall rowing victories (but rowing isn't a real sport ;p). But let me just pipe in my own opinions. I'll keep score throughout the weekend. So far the tally:

Cambridge 0 - Oxford 1: The rail station is a 40-50 min walk from the Library. This is ridiculous.

Cambridge 0 - Oxford 2: The Library is comparatively modern and yet there are very few places in which to plug in and power your laptop. I've been in the cafe most of the afternoon so I didn't run out of battery.

Cambridge 1 - Oxford 2: The Library has a cafe!!!! Maybe I should give more points for this. It's overpriced, sea foam green, and not very delicious, but doggone-it, I can get tea and coffee without having to swipe in and out of the library.

Cambridge 2 - Oxford 2: The Library staff are super nice.

Cambridge 2 - Oxford 3: The Bod staff are super nice too.

Cambridge 3 - Oxford 3: NONE of my students are here!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha! This blog is the extent of my distractions today. I've actually gotten a lot done.

Cambridge 4 - Oxford 3: It is really beautiful round here. I mean, I love how many of the colleges back up to the river. Lovely.

Cambridge 4 - Oxford 4: I still like Oxford better. Yes, I'm biased, but I prefer the smaller size. It's good there are less shops to distract me and my wallet. And it seems more cycle friendly.

So so far an even score. I do, however, think it is probably better to be a grad student in Ox. Less distractions (so long as you aren't employed by a college) and a better library. Oh but the cafe. And now I'm getting kicked out of it. Perhaps it's not so great after all.

Love to all from the Other Place,
Elizabeth

Exhaustion:

I'm exhausted. Honestly. Sleeping 12-hours a night, can't stay awake past 9, phone ringing doesn't wake me exhausted. It's made my dreams all crazy and vivid. And recurring. Bizarre really. I know it's because of stress (I'm a police investigator these days y'all. NCIS kinda stuff...grr students!!!!) and because it's the end of term. And I know I've said it before, but I'm tired of being tired. So...I'm making a resolution to be more awake. I'm not really sure if this will work, but I'm giving it a go. If anyone has any helpful suggestions as to how to do this besides sugar, caffeine, exercise, yoga (tried them all!) then please do share. Cause man, this is ridiculous.

Love to all,
Elizzzzzzzzzzzz :)

Summer Cut:

I went to the hairdresser today to get a haircut. I just wanted a trim. This is what I got:



I also got a care-package from my parents that had a cool one shoulder dress in it. So I tried it on. This is what it looks like:



So all in all, even though I didn't plan it, it's become a new, updated version of me kinda day. I kinda like it. :)

Love to all,
Elizabeth

P.S. Thank you parents!!!!! I love you!!!

Well Doesn't That Just Say it Right:

Lady Antebellum: American Honey



Enjoy!

Love,
Elizabeth

Hopeful:

Happy Mother's Day to one and all! I've been blessed with some of the strongest, most kind, most talented, most loving, most beautiful, most prayerful, most intelligent, most giving women in the world in my life. Today I honor and am thankful for them. They give me joy and teach me to live life to the utmost. Because of them I am loved. Because of them I am hopeful.

Thank you Momma, Grandma, Granny, Aunt Kathy, Regina, Erika, and so many more. I love you so so so much.

Love and hope to all,
Elizabeth

Angry:

I am angry. I can't really say why, as it will be out in the universe and connected with me and my future if I do. But I'm angry. And just writing that out helps.

Disillusioned.
Unappreciated.
Unwanted identity.
Trapped.
Thankfully, not alone.

These words describe how I'm feeling today. I would like to scream or punch something, but I can't. The whole College would hear me. And that wouldn't help anyone.

I'm going to do another round of yoga. It's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.

I really do love you all, despite my current anger.
Love,
Elizabeth

I Believe:

Flyleaf, "All Around Me":



I am determined to have a good day, with motivation to spare. :)

Love to the most wonderful people in my most blessed life,
Elizabeth

For Jazzy, Red Roses:

I don't know what I want to say, but I want to say something. It's on the tip of my tongue, at the edge of my fingers. It's strong and encompassing; filling me up with immediacy and importance, but I don't know what it is. My brain takes my thoughts and spins them around at a feverish pace. This and then that and then this and then something else and I never have hold of a thought or a hope or an idea for long enough to write it down. Spinning. It all just keeps spinning.

And when it stops. Nothing. I can't remember what it is that I wanted to say. My brain is stuck in a lull, a soft sway. Words meandering along, unable to find a home. Unattached to a thought. Here, there, everywhere. Like a butterfly, hopping from flower to flower. But the pollination doesn't set in. It's exhausting. Can anybody hear me?

And then I daydream. Of peace. And contentment. And a world in which my voice is heard. Where people listen and respect. Because I have something to say! And I said it. No, I shouted it! Loud and triumphant. Bold and proud. My words have meaning and I shouted them out loud. I sound powerful, thunderous; the world shakes at my voice. Calling for kindness, civility, a smile, understanding. Joy. Yes, that's what I want to say: Personify joy.

And afterwards? Humanity. What's left of it all? Oneness. Connection. Empathy. Every fiber of being united in joy. Oh and love. Eternal, unending, all encompassing love. You inspired me. You inspire me. Held in my heart, forever, joy and love.

I have something to say: For Red Roses, I never knew you, but your impact is strong. For Jazzy, I still miss you, 14 months on. But your light? It is here and it comforts me. Personified joy. That's it. That's what I'm searching for. And my words, they can't do justice to the thoughts in my head. Because this is not a daydream and I'm still spinning. But love is tangible and joy is real. So when I find my voice like you two, I'll shout it, just as you did.

In memoriam.

Love to all,
Love, love, love,
Elizabeth

Sleepy Dwarf:

I'm not sleeping well. I keep falling asleep at like 9 at night and then waking up at 12. Then I can't sleep again until 2 or 3. This needs to stop. I need a proper night's sleep.

In other news, there's a big back log on my visa application so I'm attempting to push it through with an "urgent travel" need. Fingers crossed. I don't like the feeling of not having a passport. And I cannot understand how it is taking so long. They've had it for 8 weeks. The British consulate in the US takes 6 weeks at most. Where's the disconnect?!

As you can see, sleepiness makes me grumpy. I'm feeling rather a lot like a different one of the "Seven Dwarfs" these days. Can't wait to come back round to "Happy" again. Hey, and maybe one day I'll finally be "Doc". :)

Love to all,
Sleepy Elizabeth

The Reason for Living in the Library:

Yes, staying at home has certain risks. Couches are evil. But it's ok because in the library the chairs are not comfortable at all. Not one bit. And the height of the desks force you to develop a hump as you stretch your arms to reach the keys of your laptop.

And you know, there's nothing better than coming out of the library after a good days work and sitting your sore bum on a couch. Well, except taking a walk.

Yesterday was a good day. Now on to make sure today is too.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

*Yawn*:

The students are back. The sun is out. Everyone is in the library. The glories of spring/summer in Oxford. Me? I'm tired. Or just yawn-y (I know, it's not a word, but I'm reading Middle English again today and I swear I've seen it somewhere...Maybe I'll check the OED? Better yet, the MED.).

This volcanic ash is ridiculous. It means friends/students are stranded. I'm finding it difficult to feel sorry for the ones who write me saying "I'm stuck in Tenerife!" "I'm trapped in Australia!" Oh dear. Poor you. I'm in the library. But I suppose this isn't costing me any hotel fees.

*Yawn!* Ok...back to work. Only 2.5 hours til lunch. :p

LOVE to ALL,
Elizabeth

Campaigning for Cookies in the Library:

I've been in the library A LOT lately and I can assure you, this video is factual. The fact that it is factual is a total shame. There should most definitely be cookies in the library. Life would be better. I would be fatter, but life would be better. Think of the increased productivity researchers would have with the constant sugar rush?! And the calming influence of a glass of milk?! Seriously, I think I'm on to something here. It's time to start my campaign. I really need cookies in the library. I feel Cookie Monster's frustration here. Solidarity brother.



In other news, I have an ARGUMENT for my THESIS! Huzzah!! Now I just have to find the evidence so I can argue it effectively. Crap. Oh well...onward! As Robert Frost once wisely said, "The only way out is through." So move over PhD program(me), I'm coming through.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

P.S. Send me cookies.

Just So You Know:

Just a quick update for people to keep checking the site. I've not stopped blogging again, I just had the end of term and then I got sick. I'm still sick. I hate being sick. *Throbbing headache* So keep an eye out, I'll be back soon!

Love,
Elizabeth

P.S. I hate Kansas. That is all.

I'm a Gleek:

Ok. It's time. I have to admit it. I can't keep it in any longer. I have to tell the truth. I love Glee. That's right. The music, the dancing, the satire, the characters...it's fabulous. And it brings me much needed levity and fun every Sunday night. It's clever and it doesn't take itself seriously; I like that in a show. You don't believe me? That's ok. Just look at this...



And did I mention the harmonies?! Love them. Oh and the drama...the drama!



I'm done now. But darn it, I wish Brown had had a glee club. I so would've been in that.

Love and music to all,
Elizabeth

Something About Myself:

I just submitted a progress report on my research to my supervisor, college advisor, and the Director of Graduate Studies. I find it so strange that it took me an hour to write about my work when I can write about myself on here in no time. It just shows you how very much I care about not only what I am doing, but what others think about it.

And here? Well, of course I care. But there's a marked difference. Here is unending support. Here is perpetual encouragement. Here are my family and my friends. And that's funny too, because actually I care far more about you guys than I do my research. When I face the two together, actually I don't care about my research at all.

Don't worry...I've been thinking about this and it's ok. I've been blessed with the opportunity to pursue my dreams while possessing the love and support of my friends and family. And I'm starting to be able to separate my work from myself because I am not my research and I do not want to be my research. But...my research is me. That may sound contradictory, but I assure you, it's not. I'm not just learning something about medieval history in all this. I'm learning something about myself. And when I put it that way, well, that makes two topics of interest. And another reason to stay positive in the wake of all the stress and struggle. It's worth it. One way or another, it's worth it.

Love to all,
Elizabeth

PSA - Louisville:

I was going to post a video about Freedom Hall, but I suppose I should save that for Saturday. I was going to post a song entitled "Going Home to Kentucky", but because I'm not doing that yet, I'll save it. I was going to write about how I'm a bit homesick, and a bit sad, and really tired, but y'all know that already. So I guess I'll just post this. It made me smile. It's goofy and strange and wonderful, just like my life at home. So enjoy. Oh, and "Keep Louisville Weird". I like it that way.



Love y'all,
Elizabeth

Homogeny:

It's not completely accurate*, but it's close.

Love,
Elizabeth

*Napping is not acceptable at Oxford (though I've seen this elusive activity in libraries). And I don't get cookies...I get biscuits. And cheese.

The Good Things:

I spent the weekend focusing on the good things. I had much fun at our termly MCR Guest Night with my wonderful friends on Friday.



I played cards with awesome friends and baked chocolate chess pie and brownies from scratch on Saturday.

(I have no pictures of either activity.)

And I put peace in my mind and heart through work, chapel, and sports on Sunday. There was basketball (woo!!!), there was hockey (less woo, but still proud), there were many prayers for many different reasons (incidentally...scripture on wisdom is a helpful thing).

In sum...I'm feeling a bit better. I'm still stressed and tired. There is still too much to do. But at least I have the ability to step back from it all every once and a while. And well, chocolate chess pie. I mean, come on. :)

Love and pie to all,
Elizabeth

Two Points for Honesty:

I'm feeling behind. Overwhelmed. Stressed. There's a knot in my right shoulder that won't ease up and to be honest, my head is starting to hurt when I look at the computer for more than a few hours. I think my eyesight is starting to suffer. Is this what grad school is supposed to feel like? I know this is what Oxford feels like. I see it in others too. Even my friends here who have PhD's and are working on their first books. A perpetual sense of not doing enough, not being good enough, losing control. It haunts me and everyone I know here. And I wonder, is this what it's like for my friends in grad school elsewhere? I don't wish more suffering on others, but it would be nice to know that these feelings of inadequacy are normal. The strange thing is, although I'm aware of all these feelings and emotions, I'm not letting it bother me as it might have done in the past. I just don't have time to worry about it. And when the pain and the fear do start to overshadow what I know to be my dreams and my abilities, I take refuge in the shared experience of others, the inspiring melodies of comforting songs, and the echoing refrain of "Kid, you'll move mountains!" from Dr. Seuss. Because at the end of it all, if it was easy, then it wouldn't be worth it. If it was easy, everyone would do it. I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to move mountains. I want to be the best me that I can be.



I'm so glad you continue to care. When I've got no motivation for myself, I plow on for the rest of you, my family and friends. Letting you, any of you, down is not an option. Because not everyone has the opportunity to be on this great, terrifying, and difficult journey. And honestly, I recognize that. There it is. My insecurity laid out for all to see. Can I have my two points now?

Love and thanks to all,
Elizabeth

For A:

It's your birthday. I don't wish it to be happy. I wish it to be peaceful. Love-filled. Joyous.

You bring serenity to my mind and unfailing support and love to my life.

I love you.

Love,
Elizabeth

Yep, I'm eating a Twix right now...

Love,
Elizabeth

Yardsale

I've got this friend named Jacob. He's a historian. Studies the American stuff. We met in undergrad at U of L and bonded on a roadtrip to Murray State. See, we were in the History Honor Society together. Jacob did a Masters at U of L and works as an archivist at the Filson Club. He's kind of an awesome historian. And he'll be off soon to do a PhD at whichever institution is smart enough to have him. Jacob came to visit me last summer. He brought with him an accent from home and a historians inquisitive nature. It was great to see him. I'm telling you all of this because Jacob's other big project (besides living in and caring for the log cabin at Oxmoor...so...freakin'...cool) is Yardsale. It's a band and I want you to listen to them. Please. Do it. You'll be glad you did. Well, if you like country/rock/blues/gospel music you will. Yardsale have just released an album Knock Alley West and I'm just so amazingly proud of him. And proud to be his friend. You can listen to three of their songs here:
http://yardsaleband.com/mediaplayer.asp
Or read about them at their website here: www.yardsaleband.com

I love it. It reminds me of home. And all that is good in the world. I hope you like it too.

Love and Yardsale to all,
Elizabeth

Busy Leaving...

I'm not the best at blogging, let's face it. But gosh-darn it, something is different this term. Well, several things are different. I think, firstly, you should know, I am so busy. I'm talking don't have time (forgot!) to eat breakfast busy. I'm talking missed a training session for University invigilation (forgot again!) because I have other training sessions busy. I'm talking weight of the world (ok, College) on my shoulders busy.

Why? Well, I'm the Dean. I really won't elaborate on this as it poses all kinds of confidentiality troubles, but basically, when students do stupid things, I suffer. Sometimes the suffering is minimal and sometimes (like now) it's not. But anyway, it makes me busy, because I have to do my PhD too. It's kind of important. Kinda. Oh and I need a student visa, and some loan money, and all of these things that aren't really dependent on me, but on other people and bureaucracy, and all those unreliable things. That is frustrating sometimes.

Speaking of other people, that's the other thing that's different. Majorly different. See, everyone is leaving. I know, I know...change happens...it's a good thing...people have to move on...blah, blah, blah. I get that, I do. And honestly, I'm emotionally ok with most people leaving. Yes, I'm upset that some of my best friends Ruth, Tori, and David are going to be in Cambridge from now on. I'll miss them. I do miss them. And I'm sad that Amber is in California and our Chaplain is now in Edinburgh and that Madhavi is in Glasgow. But honestly, I'm super thrilled for all these people. And I'm really looking forward to visiting them. The problem is that their presence (or lack thereof) is so obvious. The day to day workings of my life are missing some important smiles, and moments of encouragement, and laughter with my friends. You see it's difficult, precisely because I'm so busy. I don't have the time I'd like to keep up with them (or any of you reading this) and that frustrates me too. And I worry that they won't know (or you won't know) how very much I miss them and their day to day involvement in my life. Oh and as the rest of the academic year goes on...more will go. So my heart is a little sore, because it's just a lot of change, very quickly, and well, I'm losing my support system. Or, at least, the way I access and use it is changing. This is all to say, that I really love the people in my life in Oxford. They're the best part about it. Not the studying, not the work, not the books (though sometimes), and not the city (wonderful as it is), but the people. And my people, well, they're off on adventures that don't involve me and I worry that they'll forget how important they are to me.

I'm used to this kind of change. People move in and out of Oxford every year. And good grief, I moved away from home and out of the day to day lives of many of my friends there. And that hurt too. Still does. The difference is this time, the ones that are leaving were all starting when I started or already here. For me, they are/were Oxford. Now I'm just a little unsure about what Oxford will become without them.

I don't want people to think I'm not ok, because actually I am. Things are not easy, but deep down I like being busy. And I know that I am a good friend and so will continue to speak to those most important to me. But I do think it is important to acknowledge the blessing I've had in terms of people and opportunities in the last four years. I wouldn't change it. Except maybe, to have them all stay, just a little bit longer.

Good luck to all my friends making their ways in their own lives. Send me postcards.

Love to all,
Elizabeth