What I Learned About Myself in Dublin:

I'm back from Ireland and have just finished my first of 15 days of intensive Latin. Whoo! What this really means is that I'm absolutely knackered. Honestly I don't think I've ever felt this tired. I can identify fully with my cousin Aidan about how stress and emotional exhaustion can lead to physical detriment. I can also identify with his common claims about the acknowledgement of aging. After this weekend, I can certainly see that age has changed me slightly, so with that in mind I shall tell you what it is I learned about myself this weekend in Dublin.

The first and most important thing I learned about myself this weekend is that I LOVE to see new places, learn new things, and explore. The problem with this love is that I HATE to travel. You all know I am afraid to fly, but I'm also just not comfortable flying. The air is stale, it can be turbulent, it's difficult to sleep. I just don't like it. Worse than flying though, I cannot stand to ride a bus. Particularly a bus through winding, small, and bumpy European roads. I have somehow adopted Emelia's motion sickness (thanks babe) and I become so very ill when I ride. My temperature rises, my stomach ties itself in knots, and I have to physically stop myself from letting the contents of my stomach emerge. Sorry to be unpleasant, but that is what happened on the four bus trips I took this weekend. I no longer have a tolerance for buses like I used to. I cannot explain this except to think that it has something to do with a change in my body due to age. My body has new comfort zones, and buses are not part of said zones. In summary, if someone could get on that teleporter they promised to build me (I won't name names here) that would be swell. The Star Trek method of transportation is far more appealing than any of our modern ways.

I learned this weekend that I have some addictions and preferences that severely alter how I experience life. Now, I know this is true for everyone, but I hadn't really thought about these things before. I guess I should begin by saying "Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am an email addict. I am also addicted to University of Louisville athletics, talking on the telephone, and vegetables. I went 59 hours without any of these things. It goes without saying that I am addicted to chocolate and shopping, but I have some control over these things." So my travel-induced technology sobriety was pretty successful. I had an itch for the computer, primarily because of the game (I will not discuss the present depression I am experiencing except to reply to my friend Bobby whose email this morning stated that statistically the Cards had to lose to the pussycats sooner or later. Well Bobby, accepting your logic is true, I will be emailing you on the morning of Jan. 6, 2008 to remind you of said statistics. If I'm right, there has been a three year drought in a basketball victory for my Cards, so that must mean... P.S. I believe (in terms of Football at least) there are such things as statistical anomalies.) but also because as a graduate student, my main method of communication is through the computer. Email, blog, facebook, etc. Everything I do is on this thing! It's both handy and scary actually. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when I had a life without a phone and computer, but I fear that would be too difficult to do. Especially in my present 'life overseas' situation. Can you imagine what this experience would be like if I could not so easily communicate with all of you at home? But I did better than expected. Though I turned on my phone and dialed Dad to find out the score of the game as soon as I landed in Heathrow. But hey, I tried.

I am also addicted to and in need of a daily dose of fresh fruit and veg. I ate like poo on this holiday. Carbs, protein, and fat. Not even chocolate! Just rubbish bacon, potatoes, chips (french fries), fried fish, and some cheese. The only bad thing I did enjoy immensely was Smithwick's, which is an Irish Ale I love drinking at my weekly trivia sessions in Louisville, and does not exist in England. But anyway, three days without fruit and veg left me feeling weak, lethargic, lazy, and unable to concentrate. I was whiny. I need good food! It is not lost on me that I am lucky to be able to afford fresh food, but man, ever since my eating habits changed with Dad's massive weight loss last year, I now see that I've trained my body to enjoy healthy alternatives. So, I may crave chocolate and the occasional salty food, but I cannot live on those things. Also, I should here make a public apology to my Momma. Mom, I am sorry I was not understanding when you needed to eat regularly in Paris. I now get it. I hope you will accept my apology because like you, I need to eat at certain intervals or I cannot function either. Please forgive me.

Rereading my entry so far, this all sounds rather negative, and I assure you, I had a lovely time in Ireland. It is beautiful and Dublin is a great city. It is full of life and history. After taking a tour of the city and learning some of the basic modern history about which I will admit I was shaky, it occurred to me how young is the modern Republic of Ireland. America is a young country historically speaking, but in terms of modern government, Ireland is just a baby. 1922. That's it. And that got me thinking about Israel and the African countries that also formed in the mid to late 20th century after escaping Imperial rule. Some of our world is so young and so fragile. With what feels like fragility in the US pretty constantly, I cannot imagine the insecurity of being one of the revolutionaries to reform and reestablish a country. I guess it just goes to show that history is a living thing. It is ever-present, ever-changing, and this goes for what has already occurred in the past. I won't go on about this, but I think the term 'interpretation' says it all.

I will post pictures of our adventure in Dublin soon. I ought to go now and get back to work. It will be a crazy few weeks. So, what I learned about myself in Dublin: I both love and hate travel, I need healthy food, I prefer the accessibility of technology though am glad I can live without it, and I am, in fact, getting older. I am opinionated, stuck in my ways, and have specific expectations on how one should experience a new country that may not mesh with other peoples expectations. This is ok. My gray hair, my need for sleep, my new love of coffee because of the death of my taste buds, these things are all ok. My joy at sitting next to a woman with a five month old baby on the plane when others cringe, my excitement that she was breastfeeding and not giving the baby a bottle, and my absolute desire to hold said beautiful girl are all aspects and lessons of my childhood that have morphed into who I am and what I prefer as an adult. My need to be around friends or family, my growing appreciation for home and for new places all come from my experiences. I am so amazed at how certain interests from my youth have faded into the background of my life, while new things have taken over, or old things have obtained a further importance. This is growth, this is life. I am neither overjoyed nor upset at my aging. I just am. It is all ok. Certain people and places will become more or less important to me over time. Certain memories will become more faint; new ones will be made. But I will always prefer to travel with music and people, will always love to talk to anyone, will always love to be surprised by something new or by something rediscovered for that matter. I will always love my Cards. I will always cling to Grandpa's old pocket New Testament when I fly. I will always love children. I will always need friends and good, healthy food. I will always be overjoyed to step into a size smaller pair of jeans. I will always be in awe of my family and the blessings they all bring me. I will always love to learn and sleep. I will always want to be challenged in my work and I will always challenge the comments of the historical tour guide (Christianity was not solely a textual religion inaccessible to the masses!...what do you call stained glass windows and sermons buddy?). But mostly, I will always yearn to see new things, go new places, and be able to be fully myself: more aware, more content, and ever evolving, especially if I can do it without having to get on a bus.

Peace and love,
Elizabeth